Daily Show Host, Writers Offered Amnesty In Future War Against US

The Irony Party of Australia

Encephalatronicalogical Pamphlet

May 10th 2006

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Daily Show Host, Writers Offered Amnesty In Future War Against US

Some enraged extremists continue to put the case (on lurid web pages and at the tops of their voices though home alone) for an indiscriminate scorched earth policy for all fifty States of the Union when the war just now begun between the United States and her adversaries again crosses the sea and is taken up in earnest on the North American continent. But a more measured approach is in evidence from the elusive leaders of many of the vast and varied anti-American armies, even where substantial efforts are well advanced in preparation for the difficult conflagration ahead.

Now, in an unusual move from fanatical opponents of American power, a concession to humanity, levity , and wit has been offered publicly by the powers now ranged against the United States. In an audio recording made available yesterday to rss feed readers and on internet browsers around the globe, the collective leadership of the dire and determined American foe has issued an edict online promising amnesty and free passage to the host and writers of the popular spoof news TV programme the Daily Show in the event of coming large-scale war in an American theatre.

During the few centuries of its rise to global ascendancy the United States has been slowly and surely accumulating adversaries with an unperturbed air of brash confidence. The arrival of the Black Ships in a Japanese Harbour a century and a half ago was a significant turning point and an ominous portent - it was at this time that the Americans began to demonstrate a prudent disinterest in making war on those similarly resourced, in favour of intervention in the affairs of far less powerful peoples.

Since the collapse of the Soviet Union and the end of the old world order of the Twentieth Century, this process has quickened considerably. Recent interventions in the Middle East have exacerbated rather than alleviated lingering resentment towards the West born of old injustices. Latin Americans, Filippinos, Hawaiians the Japanese, Vietnamese, and Cambodians, to name a few, are suspiciously quiet, US agencies report, on the possibility they might still have some anachronistic grudge to bear. The approach of White House and Pentagon can be formulated in as 'Fuck it. Whenever it happens, we'll take 'em all on.' This bravado, apparently shared in large part by the population of the United States, has the obvious shortcoming of failing to take into account examples such as Rome and Byzantium two long dead civilisations in which substantial back-pedalling, together with stupendous bribes and reparations paid to 'barbarians' in the later centuries of the life of the empire failed to avert the thorough sacking of the greatest cities of these imperial notables at the conclusion of their respective (and interwoven) histories.

But beyond the reaches of the West neither ancient political grievances nor the looming conflict, have detracted from appreciation of the near-universal phenomena of irony and satire - the subversive uses of language - the death of these genres would represent the ultimate symbolic victory for a hegemonic power. And continuing respect for the rare contrary genius , however unlikely its point of origin, has been demonstrated with the special consideration now offered to the now recognised world-wide as the single redeeming feature of US culture, the Comedy Central-produced satirical current affairs programme, Daily Show.

Daily Show host Jon Stewart regularly delivers a searing deadpan commentary in the style of a traditional Western news bulletin, assisted by implausibly talented writers that effortlessly confound the generally reliable maxims concerning irony and North Americans. The programme was screened on Australia's SBS network, but for unknown reasons is seen no more in the Antipodes, to the detriment of satire-starved inhabitants of that US tributary.

Today's audio message has been interpreted by some as an attempt to drive a wedge between those in the United States who are amused and entertained by the Daily Show, and those who find it a perplexing and sometimes treasonous mess of hurtful untruths. But a spokesman for the forces now preparing to make war on the superpower stressed that the amnesty decision was not designed to exploit some perceived political allegiance with the talented writers of the show, but simply reflects an abiding love of well-constructed television satire that does not insult the intelligence of the viewer.