The Irony Party of Australia
Encephalatronicalogical Pamphlet
September 10th 2007
Irony
Party
pamphlet
news
in brief
newsfeed
rss
feed
author
links
Taking Tea with a Totalitarian: Putin, APEC, and Uranium
Mr Putin met Mr Howard for a frank exchange of ideas, with Mr Howard reportedly keen to elicit details of the means by which Mr Putin has maintained his unquestioned grip on power, populist 'tough guy' image, and eliminated dissidents at home and abroad. Mr Howard told reporters he is pleased that Australian radioactive materials could soon be poisoning Russian investigative journalists across Europe.
'Australian uranium is known to be the world's best when it come to making radioactive tea, house paint, or indeed when used in an Australian-made product such as Colourbond 236, a general purpose fencing and roofing product jointly developed by James Hardie Industries and Rio Tinto,' Mr Howard said.
Mr Putin, speaking through an interpreter, said he is pleased that Australia has agreed to sell the contentious substance to Moscow, and he was pleased to abide by all requirements for the use of the material for 'non-military', peaceful purposes only.
'We expect to use the material to make many problematic individuals rest very peacefully indeed,' the former karate champion, KGB agent and keen angler said.
The APEC Security expo is today expected to see an demonstration by members of the Falun Gong movement, who will be exhibiting their fresh, healthy organs to the visiting Chinese delegation led by the genocidal Maoist dictatorship-turned valued trading partner's president, Hu Jintao.
Elsewhere in the locked-down CBD of the city that has come to exemplify the Aussie spirit of acceptance and tolerance, several members of ABC Television's 'Chaser' comedy series have been arrested after they brutally exposed what a charade much of the security is. The group assembled a fake motorcade of very large, imported vehicles and were waved through several police checkpoints before being arrested within spitting distance of the hotel housing United States president George Bush.
New South Wales Police Commissioner Andrew Corleone said he was very angry over the 'stunt' and the group's flagrant breaking of The Law. Mr Corleone insinuated that his highly-trained, heavily-armed police could easily have killed the group, a situation that could have led to PR issues and possibly questions about the necessity for such ludicrous levels of security and the waste inherent in the operation.
